


Akio

by Lyndis



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 15 years after canon, And he has a boyfriend, Angst, Arthur is going to find out about his boyfriends past, CW: mention of past torture, CW: past violence, CW: thoughts about suicide, CW:violence, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post canon, Riko is Akio now, Riko went to therapy, Riko's death was faked by Ichirou, So much angst, and learned what empathy is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyndis/pseuds/Lyndis
Summary: After Ichirou faked Riko's death, Riko was cast out of the family and renamed to Akio Yamaguchi. 15 years later Akio went to therapy and is now 35 years old. On his birthday and simultaneously the two year anniversary of his relationship with Arthur, he suddenly hears the name he thought was buried in Evermore.
Relationships: Riko Moriyama/Arthur (OC)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Akio

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was beta read by Laura :-3  
> [Lauravg_20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauravg_20/pseuds/Lauravg_20) you are amazing and I am so happy you are helping me!
> 
> \--
> 
> I posted this already on my tumblr, but here is the beta read version ;)  
> I hope you like it.
> 
> Content warnings: Violence, past violence, mention of past torture, thoughts about suicide.

Akio had been this close to getting it right. This close. But of course, happiness wasn’t for him. He knew pretty well that he didn’t deserve it and it had been his fault to reach for it nevertheless. He had feared the day where everything crumbled and of course this day would be his 35th birthday and the two-year anniversary of his relationship with his boyfriend. The love of his life.

They were at a restaurant. Nothing fancy, because he hated fancy. Fancy had been all these banquets and dinners he had attended to try to please his father, when he didn’t even look at him. The meetings had been nothing more than a farce and had been more for his uncle’s sake than for his. They were meetings where his father had made sure everything was working out as he wanted. Meetings to check on investment his father wasn’t even interested in. Meetings to make sure that they knew their place in the hierarchy: At the bottom. Right next to the lowlifes.

So they were at a local pizza place. More fancy than their usual dates, but not over the top. He had fun. It was perfect. He had thought about asking Arthur to marry him, but his plans were nilled when he heard a name he desperately tried to forget: “Riko?!”

He stilled, tried not to react, but he knew that voice so the name definitely wasn’t a coincidence. When he spotted Nathaniel Wesninski with his damn goalkeeper he knew it was over. They would ruin this life he so desperately built in the last fifteen years. They would ruin years of therapy, years of trying to do better, years of not being Riko anymore. The only favour Ichirou ever did him was staging his death and kicking him out of the family, giving him a new name. He was Akio now… he had been Akio... Now he was Riko again, and he would be Riko for all time because he didn’t deserve the life Akio had. He didn’t… he knew this. They would ruin this newfound happiness and he wouldn’t stop them. He wouldn’t even try.

Maybe Minyard would even kill him the second he left the restaurant and he was able to catch him without witnesses. That was alright. Riko wasn’t sure he could go on with his life without Arthur by his side. Maybe he could, but he didn’t want to. Minyard was said to be efficient at his murders. So perhaps he was even lucky enough for it to be quick. He didn’t deserve that either, of course. But maybe he was lucky.

It was hard to keep calm when they approached. There was a desperation in him that triggered the old need to hurt, to cut, to draw blood. With every step they came closer, the need grew until it nearly overwhelmed him. But he wasn’t allowed. He had to take this, he deserved nothing else than getting destroyed. He wasn’t allowed to do damage in return and he wasn’t allowed to run.

“Do you know these people?” Arthur asked confused.

“In another lifetime”, he mumbled and swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry, Arthur…”

Alarmed Arthur opened his mouth, but he didn’t let him speak. Instead he looked to the pair: “Minyard… Wesninski”

The greeting made Nathaniel ground his teeth together and he would probably have leaped forward, if not for the hand on his shoulder. Minyard looked bored as always.

They were famous now, they couldn’t raise havoc in the middle of a restaurant.

“It’s Josten, asshole! What are you doing here?! You are supposed to be…”

Obviously the ill-tempered redhead had learned to hold his tongue because he didn’t blurt that he was supposed to be dead. Josten had been there when Ichirou executed him. No wonder he was confused.

Arthur rose from his seat and placed himself in front of the table. He wasn’t strong enough to protect him from those two, but Riko’s heart ached because of the fact that he would try anyway. Arthur wouldn’t let anyone hurt his loved ones. He would place himself in the path of a bullet if it meant a chance at saving someone.

“Arthur, don’t”, he tried, but his boyfriend wouldn’t move.

“Yeah, Arthur”, Josten snarled and Riko wanted to punch him and cut him open for speaking like that to the love of his life. “Listen to your owner and sit. We are doing you a favor.”

“If your favors involve you getting in the way of our anniversary and insult my boyfriend, then I politely decline that.” Arthur’s voice dripped with sarcasm and perhaps he thought the two of them were homophobes because usually he wasn’t that straight forward with their relationship.

Riko’s hand cramped around his fork and it took everything he had not to raise it and pin Josten’s hand to the table with it.

“Boyfriend?” Josten snorts in sarcasm and before he could say something more, Riko stopped him:

“Don’t hurt him. This isn’t about him, he has nothing to do with this.”

Minyard’s eyes narrowed slightly and Josten’s zeroed in on him. Good. The less attention they gave Arthur the better.

“What, because you want to do it yourself? Or did you finally find someone as sick as you?”

They slowly drew attention to their table, but Riko couldn’t care less. It was their problem if they made a scene, not his.

Arthur still stood in front of the table, unmoving, not questioning, relentless. It was amazing how he just trusted him that these people were assholes and not him being one. The prospect of losing this hurt so much, he nearly couldn’t bear it. But he had to. It was his fault and his fault alone that this happened. You reap what you sow after all.

“It’s okay, Arthur.” He said as calmly as possible. “I’m sorry this has to end like this.”

He pulled out some bills and laid them beside his half-eaten pizza. The ring in his pants pocket felt heavy as he stood up.

“We will talk later. I have to work this out on my own with them.”

Arthur still didn’t move, he just looked at him with worry in his eyes. “You are not going with them. I will call the police if you do.”

“No, you won’t. Arthur, it’s okay. Don’t call the police. Never call them for me, you understand? Never.”

Arthur looked visibly taken aback, but before he could react further Riko stepped in the direction of the exit: “Later, Arthur.”

There wouldn’t be a later, but the lie was necessary so Arthur would stay out of this. Riko was okay with dying through Minyard’s or Josten’s hands, but he wouldn’t be able to just stand by when they would turn on Arthur, because the idiot thought Riko was worth saving.

He hadn’t even reached the middle of the empty alley half a block away from the restaurant when someone slammed him face first into the wall.

Josten stepped beside him, so it had to be Minyard who now took his arm and twisted it behind his back until his shoulder nearly dislocated.

“What are you doing here?”, Josten asked coldly. “And don’t even think about lying. You are not the only one who knows how torture works and I am sure we know a few tricks more than you.”

He hated feeling helpless. The feeling crawled up his throat, constricted around his ribcage, and pooled hot in his stomach. The lust for blood rose, his head getting foggier by the second. It took everything to stay in the present, to not give in to the sick craving. He bucked on instinct against Minyard’s grip, which sent a hot jolt through his shoulder and resulted in Minyard slamming his body against the wall again in warning.

“I’m in the mafia equivalent of Whitsec.”, he pressed through gritted teeth. “Ichirou kicked me out of the family, gave me a bit of money, and said he would kill me if he ever saw my face again. Personally or through the media. He changed my name to Akio Yamaguchi. For all he cares Riko is dead. I live here, nothing else.”

A scream wanted to tear his body apart, but he only managed a gasp when Minyard rammed a fist into his kidney. He would have fallen to the ground if the Midget hadn’t held him by his arm still. His shoulder screamed in agony. “Fuck you!”, he spat, his fingers digging into the wall in front of him in a desperate attempt to not lash out. The dull ache of his fingertips being scraped open was barely noticeable over everything else.

“Why should we believe you?”

“Why the fuck are you asking if you won’t accept the truth anyway? I know what this is. Don’t look for excuses to hurt me more and just do it. Or can’t you bear the thought that you are having fun, doing this? Does it feel good, finally getting your revenge? Do you like the adrenaline rush of looking at someone helpless and knowing they are hurting? It’s nice, isn’t it? When did you realize that you are as sick as me?”

There was an odd pressure at his back for a second and then a warm feeling. Riko’s eyes widened in realisation.

“I was ten when I planned my first murder”, he heard Minyard’s voice but it sounded odd. Too far away. When his arm was released, he just crumbled to the ground and the last thing he heard was bones snapping. It was just a dull sensation in his left hand at this point. Then everything turned black.

It was interesting, really. Riko had imagined that when you woke up in a hospital you would hear the beeping sound of the heart monitor first. But the first thing that happened was that he felt being in a room. Then he felt the bed. Which was interesting in itself, because the last thought he had, had been about dying. The last thought he had, had been about not keeping his promise to Arthur, not keeping the ‘later’. The last thought he had, had been about the ring in his pocket and the life he wasn’t allowed to live.

After realising being in a room the beeping sound came slowly, then came the pain. It was hazy and dull, but it was there. Like his body consisted of thousands of stiff muscles. He hadn’t felt like that even after the last game against the foxes.

He drifted off again without opening his eyes, dreaming about orange and red and pain.

It needed days until he was awake long enough to be able to take in everything. Everytime he had woken up before, Arthur had been by his side. Now that his mind wasn’t as foggy anymore, he realized that he had hallucinated. Of course he had. Josten and Minyard probably had shown Arthur the newspaper articles about the Nest and himself after his presumed death. No one would stay at his side if they knew about that and he desperately wished that he had died in that alley. Whoever saw him and called an ambulance could go fuck themself.

Sometime that day two Police officers came in and for a brief moment he thought someone had told them about him. Maybe Arthur, maybe Josten or his midget goalie. But they just asked about the injuries, explained that the hospital called them in as a standard procedure.

He told them some story about a stranger he couldn’t remember properly who thought it’d be fun to kill the Asian guy and the police were okay with that. Easy to file, no way of pursuing anything, because there was no evidence. Not even the knife was found. Josten and Minyard would probably be far away by now and the police too relieved about being able to let this go to a cold case. Minyard wouldn’t have done this if there had been even the slightest possibility to get caught. Not after all these people had seen them in the restaurant.

Riko swallowed a hard lump down his throat and hoped with every fiber of his body, that they hadn’t hurt Arthur.

After one of the nurses told him that his hand probably wouldn’t fully heal, that he lost a kidney and the pain in his right knee would be there for a long time, he lay in bed the whole night, staring at the ceiling. He would live a life in pain and without anyone to spend this life with. He would have tried to kill himself, if he had been able to move enough to get out of bed. He had time, though. He had all the time in the world.

When he opened his eyes the next day, Arthur was there again. Riko looked away. Maybe… maybe if he just ignored the image, it would vanish again.

The low, soft voice of Arthur sounded exactly like the original one and it tore Riko’s heart apart.

“ Are you angry with me?”

Wasn’t he hurting enough? Had his head to do this to him, too?

“Go away”, he said weakly, when everything he wanted was to just be held.

“What? Akio — ”

He shook his head and closed his eyes. Perhaps… perhaps if he just went back to sleep, this would go away again.

“Whatever painkillers they are giving me, this isn’t worth it.”, he mumbled to himself. He had to tell them he needed something else. Something less strong. Fuck physical pain, this was far worse.

“They told me you could react like that. Because of the attack and the trauma and because you are in pain. But no, Akio. I won’t go. I will stay here until you are better, at least physically and then we can talk. If you want me gone by then still, okay. But I know you have no one. You didn’t even text the others about what happened. If you are too proud to ask for help, so be it, but I, at least, will stay here until I know you are able to make a rational decision.” The words the hallucination spoke floated around the room, never really reaching Riko, because of course his head would produce these.

Of course… Maybe he should crawl up to the roof and throw himself over the edge. If it was busy enough in here he might be able to do it before anyone noticed he was missing.

The weeks crawled by agonizingly slowly. At some point Riko had to admit that Arthur wasn’t a hallucination, but it didn’t make the pain less intense. They would talk as soon as he was allowed to go home again, and then Arthur would drop the friendliness. If Riko could, he would have sent him away, but Arthur had been right: He needed help and there was no one else. There would never be anyone after this.

He was three weeks in the hospital and when he was released he still had the cast around his arm and a brace around his knee. He wasn’t allowed to fully walk on it yet, but was able to do some steps with a crutch.

Arthur helped him to his apartment and didn’t say anything until Riko was laid out on the couch.

“So”, Arthur began and stopped again.

“So”, Riko answered, waiting for the inevitable. Seconds ticked by and no one said another word. It was Riko who broke first. “You did enough, Arthur. More than enough. You shouldn’t have done it. It was a waste of your time. No one ever will say anything because you left me. I understand.”

Arthur blinked. “Is this some ‘I am a cripple and a liability now’ bullshit? Because we both know you weren’t the easiest person to deal with in the first place and I don’t know what I’ve done in the past two years that makes you think I can’t take this. Also… while your temper tantrums might never go away and while you might never let me stay at your place for more than a night, your physical inabilities will mostly heal with time. Your other kidney is healthy as can be and most likely will never produce any problems. So don’t give me this shit. You know very well I would drive you to dialysis and back every damn day and would not complain.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Riko asked impatiently. Why didn’t he come to the point? “I’m not a cripple.”

“Okay, what is your problem? I waited and waited in the hopes you would explain, but since these assholes showed up - and don’t think I don’t know that they did this to you and not some stupid racist - you have a stick up your ass and won’t let me near you. Spill it, Akio, because I really don’t get it.”

“My name isn’t Akio and I don’t know why you still call me that!”

“What?!”

Now it was Riko who blinked. “What?”

Arthur sat down on the low coffee table in front of the couch.

“They called you Riko.”, he offered, clearly trying to stay calm and collected. Riko looked away when his brain produced an image of blood running down from a cut on his cheek. The urges were stronger since he had woken up and he had to call his therapist for new sessions before this got even worse. He didn’t want to hurt Arthur even if his brain suggested otherwise. He had dreamed about it a few days ago. Arthur strapped to a bed, screaming in agony while Riko had sliced him open. He had woken with a fucking boner and had never felt so dirty and bad in his life. Technically he knew he should feel worse about what he had done in his past, but hurting Arthur that way was a far more horrible thought.

“Yeah”, he answered, drowning the urge in the sadness he felt, not trying to think about the possibility of just holding Arthur in this apartment. Thankfully he wouldn’t even be able to do that. “I was called Riko until I was twenty.”

Arthur clearly waited for him to go on, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how or where to begin.

“So… want to tell me why they did this to you? And why you wouldn’t tell the police?”

Did Arthur just want to hear it from him or did he really not know? Riko wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter either way. He had to tell him. Minyard had left him to bury this last knife into himself. He knew that it wasn’t sheer luck that let him survive. If Minyard or Josten had wanted him dead, he would be.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. I… I’m sorry I can’t feel sorry for keeping this from you. I was selfish, but I don’t regret it. I’m just… I’m just sorry for wasting your time.”

“What are you talking about?”

Riko wasn’t able to look at him, so he looked at the ceiling instead and word for word hammered nail after nail into his own coffin:

“I was born into a mafia family. Only first sons were allowed to the main family branch so I was cast out and adopted by my uncle. With him I led an Exy cult. Maybe you heard of Riko Moriyama and the Nest and Evermore. That was me… my brother faked my death and kicked me out of the family entirely. I did… I did horrible things to people… to children. Josten’s scars on his face aren’t from me, but a lot of the others on his body are.”

He swallowed but didn’t stop, because he wouldn’t be able to say anything again if he did. Maybe these were the last words he would ever speak. It certainly were the last he would speak to Arthur.

“I… tortured… them. Josten wasn’t my only victim, not even the worst one. On some days it’s still hard to feel bad about what I’ve done. On some days it’s just like watching a movie and let myself be amused by all the gore that is shown. On some days it is still just… entertaining. I… I am a monster. I would undo all of what I did if I could, but I can’t and I can’t even undo how I feel about it completely.”

Arthur didn’t say anything to any of it, so Riko dug his grave deeper and deeper still.

“On some days I want to hurt you”, he whispered. “See you bleed. Hear you scream. Obviously, I am able to control it now, but it is still there. The urge is still there. I’m just a monster waiting for an excuse to wake again. So… yeah. I didn’t tell the police because I deserved what they did. I honestly thought they would kill me, but I think being in pain for the rest of my life is even better. I… I tried being happy with you, but I only have been selfish again. All this… work you had with me. Especially these past weeks. I should have told you sooner. I… shouldn’t have let you near me in the first place. I should have stayed alone. I’m sorry for taking two years from you. I really am. I thought it would be okay to be happy, but of course it isn’t. I’m sorry Arthur. I really am.”

For a very very long time it was eerily quiet. Riko’s words were gone and it felt like they would never come back to him. He wouldn’t need them anymore after this. The thought of a therapist suddenly felt childish. He didn’t need one. When the urge would get stronger again, he just had to let it out on himself until he one day would cut too deep.

“I have to go do some grocery shopping.” Arthur’s voice was very quiet. Was he afraid? He should be. He should be afraid of him, of the monster he was. Everyone should.

Riko just nodded and a few moments later, the apartment fell silent again. He would live in this silence now. It was exactly like the time after the nest. He could still remember the days when he suddenly had been alone and nothing.

_ He knew how to do this. He knew how to wash clothes and how to take care of himself. He didn’t know how to cook, but he could learn. He had been able to learn Exy to a perfection, it would be laughable if he couldn’t learn how to chop things and how to cook them so they would become a meal at the end. _

_ But he didn’t know why to do any of it anymore. There was no practice he had to do good at, no team meetings with his team or the professional teams he was playing for. No training for court, no teammates who would fall upon him like vultures as soon as he showed some kind of weakness. There was no father or brother to impress, no one who gave a shit about him. Not that there ever had been anyone.  _ Kevin and Jean _ , his brain provided unhelpfully and he nearly laughed about that nonsense. Kevin’s interest in him didn’t go farther than his worth as an Exy player and Jean…  _ Jean _ … Jean wasn’t even worth thinking about. He had been a toy, nothing more. You didn’t cry if a toy didn’t love you back, what a stupid sentiment. _

_ He didn’t leave his apartment for a long time. It felt wrong, going out alone. So he never learned anything, because he didn’t have things to chop. He just ordered food. _

_ When he lay awake at night, he watched the wall opposite of his bed. The wall where Kevin’s bed should have been, but it was empty now. Just space that wasn’t used and never would be. If he just hadn’t thrown that fit. If he just hadn’t broken Kevin’s hand. Everything would be fine now. Wesninski would have died somewhere on the road like he had been supposed to and he and Kevin would have played court. Everything would be perfect now. If only these assholes hadn’t thought to pitch Kevin against him. To find out who was better. Idiots. Incompetent fuckers. they made him realize that Kevin had been better, that Kevin held back.  _ Kevin Kevin Kevin _ , he couldn’t hear anything else. Everything had been about him. No wonder his father hadn’t been interested in him - the second best. Second all his life. Second son, second-best at Exy… disposable. A failure. Not even an honourable name had been given to him. Even his gender had been only the second best. If he had turned out to be a girl, he could have stayed in the main family. Second in everything. He hadn’t been able to take it anymore. _

_ A month in his new apartment and he smashed it to pieces. He started with his dishes and cutlery then sliced his upholstery open, ripped his cushions and pillows apart. _

_ It had been his neighbours who called the police because of the noise. When they found him the apartment was a mess of broken dishes, dirty ripped up clothes and he had several cuts on his hands from god knew where. He hadn’t washed for nearly two weeks and in his blind rage, he had attacked the officers. He spent the night in a hospital and was then transferred to a psychiatric clinic. From there on it was years of medication and therapy and slowly… very slowly he learned what he had done and it got worse and worse before it got better even slower. A lot of therapists had given up on him, but somewhere down the road he had searched for new ones himself.  _

At some point he had wanted to get a better person. He clawed his way out of everything at some point, was off medication for a few years now and had finished therapy shortly before he had met Arthur.

He didn’t really think that his boyfriend would come back, but when the sun began to set he heard his front door click open again. It had been hours and he half expected to see Minyard or Josten again or maybe even Jean. Jean… seeing him as an actual human being had taken ages, partly because he subconsciously had known what that would entail. He hadn’t lied when he had told Arthur that on very bad days he still felt amusement about what he had done to others, but on his better days… on his better days he wasn’t even able to think about what he had done to Jean.

He turned his head in the direction of his front door, but Arthur first went to the kitchen. He really had gone grocery shopping…

It took a few minutes but then he settled down on the coffee table again. This was it then. The final conversation.

“I needed a bit of time to think”, he said, like he had to apologize. What an absurd thought. Arthur apologizing for being shocked that his boyfriend was a monster. Riko nodded.

“You told me you were twenty when you stopped. So you were a child still when it started.”

“That’s not an excuse”, Riko said instantly. Because it wasn’t. That was important. It wasn’t an excuse for anything. It didn’t make a difference for his victims. His therapists had tried and failed to explain that the reason why he did things and an excuse were two different things, and that he couldn’t be made responsible for everything he did because of his mental state. It sounded a lot like an excuse to him that way.

“No, but simultaneously it kind of is, don’t you think?”

Riko huffed and looked up at the ceiling again: “Try to tell Josten that. I’m sure he will be understanding.”

“That’s not what I mean, stupid. Of course it doesn’t undo what you did. But you were a kid and no one told you that what you did was wrong. You thought it was okay and normal and… that is something you are not responsible for.”

What was that even supposed to mean? “Most kids know what’s right and wrong.” He didn’t want to talk anymore. He wanted Arthur to be gone already, this was torturous.

“Most kids live in our society and not in some mafia parallel world.”

Riko didn’t say anything, just stared up at the ceiling. He wanted this to be over. His chest hurt and he felt as empty as when he had realized that he was nothing and noone anymore. That he had lost everything. It had been shitty, but at least it had been his life.

“You signed for a professional team at a pretty young age. You played for two teams simultaneously and had school and later university. That had to be stressful.”

Riko shrugged. Yeah, it had been. So? A lot of people had a stressful life.

“I bet your uncle beat you when you wouldn’t bring the results he wanted.”

“Sometimes.”, he mumbled. Bad grades hadn’t been an option or if he was tired during practice.

“Always in front of cameras or in this horrible building underground with other Exy obsessed people.”

Riko shrugged again but noted that Arthur probably had googled him.

“Have you ever been to therapy?”

Hadn’t he mentioned that? Was it important? “I had a nervous breakdown four weeks after my faked death. They put me in a mental facility for a while.”

“What was your diagnosis?”

Riko sighed heavily. He was so tired. So endlessly tired. He tried to remember the exact words of his multiple diagnosis until someone was able to pin it down. The ultimate verdict had been: “Antisocial probably sociopathic personality disorder, narcissism, and sadism. The last two are part of an ASDP but they liked to point that out specifically. I was part of a few scientific papers as a success story. I probably could find them for you, if you are interested.”

Maybe it was just curiosity on Arthur’s part. Whatever.

“So you know that these are mental illnesses?”

Riko shrugged again. Not an excuse, still.

“So when someone’s legs were broken at a young age and no one helped them fix the legs and they grew together all wrong, you would blame them for not being able to run?”

“That’s not the same!” Riko sat up quickly and then fell back into the pillow again with a pained groan.

“It’s not, but it is similar enough. I don’t say what you did was okay in any way, but in all fairness, you hadn’t had a lot of possibilities to turn out any kind of normal. I am not one of your victims, so I can’t forgive your actions, but I think you are allowed a chance in life. I love you, you know that. And I don’t think I would if you still were the monster from fifteen years ago. You never hurt me. Yes, your temper tantrums are there, but you just yell and throw things around. You don’t even throw things at someone. I’m kind of glad to know where they come from now and I am a bit impressed that you even came this far. That you are able to feel empathy. I can understand that your therapists called you a success story.”

Riko didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. Maybe he fell unconscious and was dreaming? Why had Arthur still had so many good things to say about him?

“Akio… you aren’t just horrible or something. I know you care about others. You helped me through some tough shit with my family and me and our friends like to hang out with you. You are on a good way and I think it wouldn’t be fair to leave you because of what you did as a kid, especially with all that background of your upbringing.”

Riko… Akio? … looked at Arthur and didn’t know what to feel. Was this real?

“You won’t leave me?”, he asked, his voice hoarse with disbelief. “How can you? I… don’t understand.”

“I will need a bit of time to process everything properly but… but I can’t leave you, Akio. I don’t want to ever meet Riko, really, but I love you like you are now. As Akio. Just… please if you still fantasize about hurting people you should maybe start therapy again. Not only because of that, I really am worried about you at the moment. I think the injuries and everything have triggered things for you. So just… I will stay, but… contact a therapist?”

Akio swallowed and nodded. “Yes, anything.”, he promised. He would do anything, if he just could keep Arthur.

Cautiously he extended his hand and smiled weakly when Arthur took it.

**Author's Note:**

> I live off of comments and kudos <3  
> Hit me with all your thoughts and feels!


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